Anonymous

I didn't say you guys would have a common understanding,that rarely happens in a group of people that choose to be together,let alone a family. Shit rarely gets worked through but more often just pushed aside so everyone can sigh and try to get along

Rarely gets worked through means there is still hope to work through it.

Anonymous

I'm gonna ask something like super personal, if that's ok-i mean obvoously you dont have to answer- but what are the issues involving your mother?

She refuses to take responsibility for her own life. She consistently makes bad decisions and is continuously in denial. She talks about how our dad took us from her, but she was on her way out well hefore the divorce. She would get drunk and pass out in the afternoons every now and then leaving me and my sister as the last ones in daycare. She dated a man for a few years who only ever made excuses and who didn’t treat me or my sister very well. She chose to ignore me when I told her how she could do better than him. He was abusive and drunk. He mostly just pushed the people around him until it got to be too much. He almost hit me in the head with a remote control once because my nervous tics were annoying him. He drew blood from my mom on Christmas night whortly after telling me and my sister that our parents lied about Santa. H never listened when I told him hid “tickling” was more like jabbing and that it was kinda painful. My mom can’t bring herself to find and hold a job, and she mostly lives with boyfriends she finds. She just refuses to accept that she can be wrong at this point and I can’t talk to her without pushing her to tears trying to get something substantial out of her.

Divorce pressures children to feel responsible when they aren’t and therefore to take sides that are not their own.

Anonymous

That's not anything easy to deal with, sorry to hear. But love is strong and even though you guys may not be able to resolve everything or anything..eventually you guys will be able to come together, not as a wall of death in a mosh pit, but as a fam

You’ve never met my family; we give off a pretty “wall of death in a mosh pit” vibe sometimes. We come together over common misunderstanding, not common understanding.

Anonymous

Is your sister ok? Are you ok?

O.K… My family is out of control on every front. Varying perspectives are clashing. People are defending their own honor all around. Excuses and blame. A lack of growth, an excess of understanding. A paradox in which everything we need is sitting right in front of our eyes but we can’t reach out and pick up a single tool.
We’re better than last night, but my family will never be O.K. with our (probably permanently) unresolved mother issues.

I need you to understand.

I’ve distanced myself in order to not let my feelings jeopardize my judgement. I MUST live in isolation. The pain reminds me that I have something worth living for. A challenge. A feeling so deeply ingrained in the ┬áconcept of the human condition that we take it for granted. We are not alone. Distancing myself from everything helps me to keep my decisions selfless. I cannot decide for myself, I can only decide for you. And vice versa. What do you want from me? What am I really fighting for? Symbolism. The ability to represent, to radiate a message. The ability to stand for something without fear of being misunderstood.
I believe we all have emotion in common and that our emotions are based on the subjective definition of “better” and “worse.” We all want a better world. How do you define it?

We give ourselves away until there is nothing left. And then when our generosity has left us empty, we hate ourselves for no longer being able to give.

Pedal to the metal till the tank reaches empty. That’s why they sent me, I lend these hands for mending. And I’m bending not snapping, fending off laughing at crappy life happening. Clapping for those with the last bad times passing. As I absorb the pain. I trade away my cheer for fear and you will never see how clear it is to peer through tears. Dear, steer clear, no more fear for your leering peers. I’m right here to take the load.